DonkeysBazooka's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Girlchan in Paradise Ep1]

oh newgrounds. sigh.. you truly are full of morons

i'm kind of at a loss for words.... oh i have an idea, i'll write out my stream of consciousness upon realizing the existence of this video. that's what good reviews are made of.
ok first, i was all like, "oh egoraptor and tomamoto made a new movie. if that doesn't have at least a score of 4.50 i'll suck my dog's dick." then i clicked on it and i was like, "oh, it's only got a score of 4.15. this must royally SUCK if even egoraptor's thousands of fanboys aren't 5ing the ass out of this thing.... oh and i'm not gonna suck my dog's dick, cause we never shook hands on it, so it was never made an official bet.... besides my dog's a girl dog."

then i watched it. it... is... AWESOME!

now I gotta be honest. i've always been amused for the most part by egoraptors stuff. although i do believe that a lot of it is vastly overrated and half of his scores just come from people who cream their pants at the mention of the word "egoraptor", and the other half come from people who just aren't old enough to produce semen yet. and that has kinda always tampered with my opinion of it. the fact that egoraptor's animation is almost as good as his voicework is undeniable, but it was easy to overlook when i'm sitting here going, "4.99?!!! it's just a funny videogame parody! PHUUUUUKKK!"

this video put things in perspective for me. this is hilarious, and in many ways it is FAR superior to any of the Awesome cartoons. the dialogue/voice acting is as good as it gets. that was brilliant how you made the characters hate having to pronounce the names of stuff in this. and i LOVED how you had them mess up, recorded the sneeze and the sound of the script pages. hilarious. this was awesomer than any awesome movie. awesome.

animation was perfect. good frame by frame, funny frame by frame, and even the places where only the mouths moved worked perfectly because this is in fact a parody of anime. (not an attempt at recreating it. a parody. big difference there.) opening theme was great. damn, i just can't think of enough nice things to say about it.... meh, i'm content now actually. that'll do.

i do have one last thing to say though. this is further proof that newgrounds is a community of retards. this deserves a way higher score (and i rarely say that about flashes). all the 13-18 year olds watch this and go, "what? girlchan? i don't get it. when's Metal Gear Awesome 3 coming out?"

come on, retards. this is awesome.

damn fine work you guys. i've never seen Girlchan in Paradise before, but I feel like I can consider myself a fan anyway, thanks to this flash.

Egoraptor responds:

Wow, that was really fucking nice.

Thank you, that means a ton.

Oh wait, I mean... when's Metal gear Awesome 3 coming out.

[Prostitute Mickey]

that was one of the saddest things i've ever seen

but it sure made me laugh. good dialogue and voice acting. and hell, gotta give you props for the premise. i want a steamboat willie

[Alfred Gets Fixed]

Hahaha

Interesting combination of animation here. Some of the animation was wonderfully professional, and some of it was severely lacking. I paid more attention to the awesome animation than I did to the lame animation though. This was very funny, including the ending, which I did not see coming at all. I LOL'd.

And damn, what the hell is this making front page NOW for? This has been on newgrounds for 2 years. Weird. Oh well, at least it's being recognized. Better late than never.

[Such is Life...]

i LOVE this

animation was top-notch, and it was hilarious. i laughed out loud at the cat part. the expressions on all the characters faces were perfect. I'm favorite-ing this one. Stuff like this is the very reason I come to Newgrounds in the first place. Hell yes.

[If You Were Gay, Roy]

oh good... the assumption song 2....

it's a little better than the assumption song because you actually bothered to color your it and lip sync it, and you didn't just use shittily drawn stick figures. you obviously put more time into this than the 2 hours it probably took Oney to make The Assumption Song, so it's not a carbon copy.

but it is, in essence, the same thing. an obscenely overrated little flash that everyone votes 5 on because the song (made by broadway talent) is funny... even though all you really did here was draw quick little chibi characters (which btw don't match the voices/personalities at all) and do some lip syncing.

if you'd had any other song in the background (one that wasn't funny like this one), and you used these characters and this style of animation, i highly doubt you'd get over a 4.20.

90% of the people giving this flash 10/10 and 5/5 are voting for the writer's of Avenue Q... not you.

Nami-Tsuki responds:

They're actually more voting for the Smash Bros characters :/

[The Real Legend 3]

I wanted to give you a 10 sooooo badly...

Really I did. The graphics and visuals are awesome. I'm a sucker for good animation and detailed backgrounds. You've got all that here. Awesome look to this flash. If you had done the whole thing with just the visuals and some background music I'd give you a 10.

But honestly, the audio is what really brought this down. The jokes were rather hit or miss but I think that lends itself primarily to how the lines were delivered. It seemed like the voice actors didn't really know the context of their lines. Seemed more like they just read their lines with SOME kind of emotion in their voice, and didn't know where the right place was to put emphasis or inflection. The dialogue didn't feel very real, it was just like... one person reads a line... the next person reads a line.... and since the subject of the dialogue is related, the viewer is supposed to assume their talking to each other.

I could be wrong, but it seemed like you sent the actors ONLY their lines and didn't fill them on on what they were responding to... so they just went with it and did whatever they thought was right. Again, I could be wrong; maybe you sent them the whole script. I'm just giving the voice actors the benefit of the doubt on this one. I'm not calling them bad voice actors necessarily, just uninformed voice actors. (Unless I'm wrong and you did send them the whole script... then the lines just weren't delivered well, period.)

Lastly, the audio quality is pretty weak. I felt like I was listening to this thing through my cell phone. At first I was thinking to myself "Okay, maybe he just dulled the audio quality to reduce the file size." But then TomaMoto came on and his sounded perfectly fine... which means the other voice actors either recorded their lines on crappy microphones... or you encountered the age-old problem of altering pitch while maintaining the timing. Huge pain in the ass to do.

In summary, the voice acting was rather shoddy, and the timing of the jokes and humor was sub par. Audio was really the downfall here, and if it weren't for the awesome graphics, I'd probably give you more like a 5/10. But I can't ignore how awesome this looks, so that more than makes up for the pitfalls. Better luck with the audio next time, and I look forward to seeing the next cartoons you submit to Newgrounds :)

[Obama's Inauguration]

el oh el

that's pretty funny. and this all started forming in your head during the inauguration? that's awesome. animation was pretty limited, but i keep in mind that this is done in after effects... and in only a couple days.

it was funny. splendid work, amigo.

Jonnyethco responds:

If I animated like you do it might have been out by the time the apocalypse rolled around. :)

[Tall 'n Short]

sigh

January 11th, 2009. - "The day spam won a daily 3rd award"

Voicework was good, and the dialogue was pretty entertaining. So you get a 4.

UNFORTUNATELY, I am unmoved by the fact that you're a newgrounds celebrity. If anyone else had submitted something identical to this they wouldn't have gotten over a 2. Hell, about 20 other people HAVE submitted stuff that is just as good as this and they all have scores below 2.

It's obviously not your fault that you won, you were just having fun submitting this, so I don't blame you for anything.

Your award is just a good statement of how corrupt the community has become. Apparently we've entered an age where good animation involves just 2 shapes bouncing up and down on a line. I guess I'm just old fashioned.

Let's see how long it takes for my review to be marked "useless" because I disagree with the popular opinion of the fanboys...

[Blockhead: Episode 11]

Yeah not too bad.

I don't think it was nearly as good as Blockhead Ghostmas. There isn't nearly as much detail in the backgrounds in this flash, but I guess part of that is just due to the setting. Still very well animated though. Nice work.

And on a side note, I don't really see how this belongs in the Christmas 2008 collection...... like... at all.... Ghostmas is a Halloween-like holiday... and this was submitted a week into 2009..... how is this in any way christmas 2008?

[The 33rd Christmas]

This is absolutely awesome.

I am growing very fucking annoyed by the Newgrounds standards of "quality."

This deserves way higher than a 3.69.

The animation was fantastic, it was funny, and it had a beautiful style to it. Seriously, this is fantastic. And don't get discouraged by the score. I've noticed plenty of awesome cartoons that sit proudly in the shadows of the shitty ones that are for some reason more popular.

I've grown to accept that the score of your flash is meaningless. As long as you are proud of your work, and you know what you created is good, then fuck everyone else.

This is good man. Nice job.