For over a year now I've been sitting on a script for a graphic novel that I aim to get published. I have the means of doing so (I've got an inside connection), but I haven't been able to do it because I NEED TO FIND AN ARTIST!

Sure, I'm theoretically capable of doing all the art myself, but I simply don't have the time to do it. I've recently been looking to find a talented artist who can do all the art for me, and then it occurred to me that Newgrounds is a perfect place to look.

The Art Portal is LOADED with extremely talented artists, and I'm hoping that at least a few of them would be willing to do the art for a (approx.) 100 page graphic novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE INTERESTED:
In addition to the thrill of having your name on a published work of art, being sold in stores all across the country, you'll be making money!

$$$$$$$$$!!!!

Probably not enough that it'll make you fabulously wealthy (in fact, that's extremely unlikely), but it'll still be a good chunk of cash.
As an artist, I know how much hard work it will take to draw/ink/color this whole thing. That's why I fully intend to get the artist every cent they deserve.
For every copy that's sold, I'm gonna get a certain percent of the profit (the publisher gets the rest of it, of course).
I will, in turn, split an equal percent of my take with the artist.

Plus, with the depth of the characters/story, there will be the potential for sequels!

WHAT YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO DO:
--Draw very well, realistically AND cartoony. It's a superhero/supervillain comic, so I'm going to want someone who can draw superheroes really well. At the same time, it's a comedy, and I want the artist to be able to draw cartoons fairly well. If this sounds confusing, don't worry; I have samples of the art style I'm looking for. I've already designed the characters and what I want things to look like so don't worry about that.
--Digitally Ink and Color. This is very important. I want this to look professional, obviously, some I need someone who can ink it and color it professionally, in either photoshop or illustrator.

I'll of course help with the art in any way I can, (like doing the storyboards and maybe some pencil drawings, maybe helping with inking and coloring, y'know whatever).

HOW THIS IS GONNA GO DOWN:
--First, an artist (maybe you!) is gonna let me know they're interested.
--I'm going to ask for some samples of their work (which I might be able to see right on Newgrounds).
--If I like it, I'll send you samples of the characters in the comic, and we'll see how you do at drawing/coloring them.
--Once I've selected you as the winning artist, I'll send you the script and ask that you fully create the first 5 pages. (This is the publisher's process now, not mine)
--I'll send the full script and your 5 pages off to the publisher, and if they give it the green light.
--We will have 6 to 9 MONTHS to finish all the art and get the whole thing done and finalized.
--Money and Fame

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED:
-- Email me at villainycomics@gmail.com
-- Send me a private message here on Newgrounds.
(I guess I'd prefer the email though)

Thanks, and I hope to get a lot of offers from all the talented artists on Newgrounds. I'm confident this is the place to find one.

This would be it.

When I started it on December 20th, I thought I only had until December 31st to get it finished. It's a damn good thing I'm wrong about stuff so often. I definitely made use of the extra time. I wonder what it would have looked like if I didn't have the extra 2 weeks.

In any case, I included Previous Frame, Stop, Play, and Next Frame buttons in the movie so you can slow it down and watch it one frame at a time if you so desire. I know I often desire that when I watch flashes.

I really don't have anything to say here... uh...

Okay, so like... I've been using Pandora a lot lately. (The Internet radio thing, not the fictional moon from Avatar). It was doing real well picking stuff I like at first, but I guess among all my "liking" and "disliking" songs, it got derailed cause its playing a lot of cock shit that I'd never wanna listen to. I musta really fucked something up. I'll prolly start over with a new radio station.

Also, I've gone snowboarding twice this year. That's like, a record. The last couple years I've only managed to get up to the mountain once. Pretty lame. I'm gonna try to go again at least once. That'd really curve my average. But man, last time I went, I totally wiped out. It was fuck as dicks. Like, one minute I was up and riding, then the next thing I knew I was on my face in the snow, checking to make sure my legs still functioned. It was pretty funny.

I've gotta start school again next Tuesday. I'm really not looking forward to it at all. Not being in school is wonderful. But, ah you know how it is. I haven't bought any of my textbooks yet. Pretty stupid. Cause like, I plan on renting them from Chegg.com, but they take time to be delivered. So there's basically no way I'm gonna have them on time.... meh, I'll worry about it on Tuesday.

I haven't been sleeping much lately. That is 100% due to this, but it's gotta be very unhealthy. Like, I haven't had more than 6 hours of sleep a single night this week. And then tonight, I've had... well actually I haven't gone to bed yet. Its 6:15 AM, and I'm typing this instead of sleeping. I just uploaded this a little while ago. I worked on it all night to get it done. Nothing like waiting til the last minute, right? Heheh... sigh...

Have I said enough to make this a worthwhile post? No? What's that {you}? You haven't cared about a single thing I've typed here? Man that's harsh. Can't say I blame you though. I don't even care about a single thing I've typed here. Oh here's something else!

Okay, so I've got a kitten. She's an asshole. We just had her uterus removed so she can't make kitten kittens. I'm glad. I don't like her. I've also got a puppy. She's a pain in the balls, but at least she's lovable. She got fixed the same day as the kitten.... maaaan..... fuck, I gotta go to work in 3 hours.... I hope my boss sees me and is like, "Dude, Jamie, fuck you're an ugly shit!" Then I hope he says, "You can go home now, cause we don't have any more work for you to do. Oh and here's a buncha money. And a blowjob." I wouldn't take the blow job though. Not unless he paid me... who would the whore be in that situation? I guess it'd be me, since he's paying me. Like, even though he's the one performing the sexual act, I'm pretty sure you can hire a prostitute to let you eat her pussy... not something I'd recommend. Unless you're someone I hate. Then I'd get AIDS somehow and fuck you myself so you die. I'd sure show you...

okay, bedtime.

So first, Merry Christmas. I don't care if I offend you because I'm not offended when people tell me Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanzaa. Especially since I'm an atheist. So fuck you, and Merry Christmas. I intend to stay home and polish my Festivus pole all day.

Now, let us all give Mr. Tom Fulp a big imaginary pat on the back. The generosity of that guy, lemme tell ya. For the second year in a row he crapped out a pile Wacoms to the hungry. Sure, one could argue its all part of his underhanded scheme to indirectly get more people to come to Newgrounds so he can make more money. But even that's probably only so he can use the money to buy more Wacoms for people!

I think that's Tom's real goal in life. Not to run some shoddy, semi-successful flash website. Tom really wants to just professionally give Wacoms out to people all year long, and this is just his way of doing it. Well hopefully, through this deceptive, artist-bait strategy, he will one day reach his dream.

Anyway, go read JakBaronKing's very thorough Christmas post if you haven't. He pretty much covers all the important people. If he didn't say something specific about you, it probably has something to do with your physical appearance and you should consider being self-conscious about it. I know I am.

Also, fuck yeah! A goat!

Lastly, I don't see how anyone can dislike Mythbusters. It's just likable all around. Educational, Awesome, Funny, Hot. You'd have to be a total douche not to like it! Or my brother.

There was definitely something else I was gonna say, but over the course of this longer-than-zero-words (and thus longer than it needs to be) post, it must have slipped my mind.

But now I've got something else to say to make up for it. This!

I'm doing a Winter Flash! It's exciting cause I was almost certain I was only going to have one shitty flash submitted in 2009, and this changes that! I have the time to work on it, so I'm busting the fuck out of my ass to get it done. See, I really thought I only had til December 31st to get it done, but it's been brought to my attention that I have til January 15th.... So I'm trying to decide if I should concentrate on getting it out before the end of the year, or if I should make it longer than I planned and use the other two weeks... hmm...

Help me decide, NG. Quicker release, or longer end result? Cast your votes.

Note that it's a WINTER flash, not a Christmas flash. Just like I promised last year when Tom was all, "I don't want a million Christmas flashes. It's a dumb idea for a contest. Make a winter one next year, DonkeysBazooka, and be my smizmar." And I made good on my promise!

Man. Lotsa links in this post. Link. (It's the closest thing I could find to a photo of a donkey with a bazooka)

See you in a week, folks! And if that's a lie, I'll see you in 2 to 3 weeks! I'm getting back to work on my animation!

Hi everyone! We haven't spoken since Billy Mays died.

My newgrounds turnout this year has been embarrassing. I've submitted a grand total of 1 flash cartoons this year, and 0 of them were good. I've had so much shitty schoolwork to do I've had practically no time for anything else.

What little time I have had to work in flash, I've been devoting to this commission thing for St. Joe's Hospital. They had made me make some Fire Safety animation for $800. Sounds nice right?

Well I've come to find out from my boss (I work at an animation studio), that I probably could have charged them upwards of $2000. So I didn't just get ripped off, I got raped to death. And the rapist had every known STD. Even the ones that only girls can get.

I had a fantastic idea for a Halloween submission this year. I couldn't wait to get started. It was a sequel to Gone Too Far that would have put the first one to shame (not an overly difficult feat, since I'm not really too proud of it). But because of the workload, I never started it.

I really could have used the money from the Halloween contest too... hopefully I can make it for next year.

A submission to the Winter Flash-Off from me this year looks unlikely. I don't envision the workload getting lighter in time to make any progress on it. (I made last year's Christmas flash in 2 weeks, but it was a pretty exhausting experience that I don't hope to relive.)

At this point, the next thing I'm going to be submitting is Flash Dancer 2. I know I've been promising that since Summer 20-fucking-08, but that's really all I've got on my plate right now.
It's gonna be great, I stand by that. It's the best animation I've ever done. But I won't even tell you how much I've got left...

I don't care if you don't care, I just felt I was doing a disservice by not posting anything since fucking June... a disservice to all 2 of my fans.

Man, the mood of this post is shitty and depressing. Here, this makes it all better:

Poor poor Billy Mays. My television volume will forever be raised 3 clicks.

Yes, its true. Everyone's favorite bearded foghorn has passed away. The man who made the world fall in love with such memorable products as OxiClean, OrangeClean, the Ding King, and Grizzly Bear Anal Beads was found dead in his home this morning.

This is going to make Season 2 of Pitchmen awfully hard to film.

RIP Billy Mays. You sure could yell at me.

which is weird since I've never spoken to him before...

I dreamed that he called me up and was telling me that weather is all a conspiracy and doesn't really exist. And I was like, "Actually, I'm pretty sure weather exists. It ruined my graduation party."

And he was like, "Nah, they're fakin' it." Then there was a long awkward pause. And I said, "Listen, it's the middle of the night... I think I'm gonna head back to bed now."

And then he got real hostile and started saying "Fuck you!" and hung up.

Then I woke up... it was a wet dream.
______________________________________
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In other news, I seem to have been quite nonexistent on Newgrounds since Christmas. Which means I have a lot of explaining to do. I mean, I've been on here watching, and voting, and reviewing (a little), and stuff but I haven't submitted anything new in waaay too long...

Hopefully that will change now that I'm on summer vacation. I hope to crank out a bunch of flashes by the end of summer, because I'm guessing when school starts again this fall I'm going to have approximately absolutely no free time.... transferring to S.I. Newhouse at Syracuse University... I'm gonna be majoring in TV, Radio and Film, and minoring in Animation. It's always been a goal of mine to get rich in the television industry and spend 90% of my salary paying off college loans.

______________________________________
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Anyway, although I haven't uploaded anything, that doesn't mean I've been abstinent from Flash. I actually have about 5 things in the works... none of them completely done. I suck in that way. I start new shit before I finish old shit. Sometimes I never get around to finishing the old shit. It's all very shitty.

For example, remember Flash Dancer 2? That sequel to Flash Dancer I started last... August?... The one I promised I'd be done with by 12/16/08? Well I'm still working on it... and not very diligently. I plan to get that finished over the summer. I really mean it this time.
Flash Dancer 2 screenshot
40% done, I'd guess. It's all frame-by-frame at 22 FPS (not on twos) so it's a slow process.

But before that, I'm going to finish this other short little flash I'm working on. If I had the time to work on it, I think I could have it done in a day or two, so that is going to be my first order of business. Here's a screenshot:
Untitled upcoming flash screenshot
I'd estimate it's about 70% done. Hopefully that'll jump up to 100% within the next week or so.

Since January-ish, I've had this great idea for a series called Blasphemy. I even got TomaMoto and Appsro to do voicework for it. If it ever gets done, it will be a massive 10-14 minute movie. Unfortunately, that's looking less and less likely. I'm afraid it might just be too ambitious a project for me... you'll notice I've never done a flash that was longer than 4 minutes...

If I could ever get it done, it would be amazing, and I'm not ready to call it quits on it just yet. So far I have about 1 minute or so of animation done... and I've been working on it since January... see what I mean? By now I had planned to be almost done with it.
Blasphemy screenshot
Around 2.0001873% done.... it's a looooong way off.... X-C

Also, a while ago I thought of a clever idea for a sequel to What All Old People Can Do... I was pretty sure when I first made that I was never going to be able to make a sequel, since it's pretty much a 1 joke thing. Making a sequel would just be retelling the same joke in a different way, and a joke is never as funny the second time you hear it.... but I think I found a way around that. I haven't even begun to work on it yet, but if I ever did I don't think it would take too long. So that may appear sometime in the future.

Last but not least... Halloween 2009. Remember Gone Too Far, my 2008 entry?... Well i gotta be honest with you. I really hate Gone Too Far. It sucks. The story is terrible, there's no style to it, it's just really shitty. I'm not proud of it at all, and even though I wrote "...or is it?" at the very end, I NEVER planned on continuing that story. BLECH! SUCK!!

... but then I got a really good idea for a cartoon and I think I'm going to make a sequel to Gone Too Far now. Rest assured it would be in no way at all like the first one, because the sequel isn't gonna suck.

0% done on both of those so far, but I'll let you know if they ever get started... hopefully not until I finish some of the older shit.

And there you have it. I hope I've made up for my lack of... anythingness since December.

Talk to ya soon.

Your friend and mine,
DonkeysBazooka

I'm done.... 2 excruciating weeks of little-to-no sleep. But I got it in on Christmas Eve so I'm happy :-D

But wow, lol, I got it out on Christmas Eve along with about fourteen million and a half other Christmas Flashes. 2 hours after I uploaded it and its still Under Judgment with only 159 views, haha. It is lost an a vast ocean of spam and people who went "AAGH! IT"S CHRISTMAS! I'VE GOTTA MAKE A FLASH!"

Which is not to discredit the few good ones I've seen come through. There were a few decent flashes that I did my part in helping through judgment. So cheers to them.

Anyway, I am in a tremendous state of relief now. No more deadlines for at least a month. There's not pressure to crank out a flash in a finite amount of time anymore so... y'know... good.

I'll put out another flash soon I'm sure, but at least there won't be a due date breathing down my neck when I make it.

So I'll see you all soon. I'm going to go to bed so I can wake up and open my thousands of presents.

Merry Christmas....

and/or a Happy New Year

Umm... So... last week I found out about the Newgrounds Winter Flash-off.....

I didn't know there was a Newgrounds Winter Flash-off..... I don't remember there being one last year.... is this the first year? Or am I just stupid? Is it both?

So uh... I'm gonna enter the contest... I am currently working on pulling an entry out of my ass amidst all of my final exams, and final projects... I figure if I average 3 hours of sleep a night, I'll be able to pull it off, and maintain at least a fraction of my sanity. I'm rooting for me.

In other news, I no longer work at an animation studio. No I didn't quit, and no I didn't get fired. America's economy has affected me, even though "the fundamentals of the economy are strong." The company usually makes animated commercials and stuff, but no one wants to pay for commercials with the shitty economy, so we are all out of work... hopefully just temporarily until someone wants us to animate something for them. Perfect timing for me to become unemployed: During Christmas break when I don't have to worry about school, and after I just shelled out over $300 on Christmas presents. Who needs a job when I can live in poverty, right?

And uh... remember that time a couple months ago when I was like, "Hey kids! Flash Dancer 2 will be out on December 16th!!! PEnis!"

... well there's a slight possibility that I completely lied about that. Originally I was going to get it done by Dec 16 to hand in for my final project in my animation class. But as time wore on it became increasingly apparent that there was no way in fucking hell I was going to finish it in time. So I shortened it, and put together a version specifically for the class.

In other words... a completed version of Flash Dancer 2 does exist. But it's not the version anyone on Newgrounds is ever going to see. The one you're all going to see is about 2 minutes longer. And I'm back to having no f-wording clue when it's going to be finished..... PEnis!

I'll probably post again next week when I finish my Christmas flash. Which means this particular post will be seen by approxiamately... ooohhh... 3 people including myself?

Yours Truly,
DonkeysBazooka

P.S. I guess I'll include a screenshot of Flash Dancer 2 that actually REVEALS something about what makes it so much different than FD1. Let the speculation commence....

Hello Newgroundsers!

I just submitted my Halloween 2008 entry. It brings wimpy, feminine tears of joy to my eyes to finally be able to say that. Gone Too Far felt like someone has been taking one long shit in my mouth for the last month. The .fla file was clearly cursed.
First of all, I changed the ending of this thing at least 20 times; no exaggeration. I couldn't pick one I liked, and each time had to go back and re-plan and re-structure the whole thing. The hardest part was deciding if I should end it with a funny twist, or do what I set out to do and satisfy Bou1der by keeping it dark and not-funny. At the very end it was a toss-up between what I finally went with, and having Dick Chaney come out of the bushes and be all like, "whoops." That was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life. It was dick.
Then, since I'm so lucky, my tablet broke and began malfunctioning about halfway through production. That was a fun one to deal with. Two words: "Duct Tape"
THEN, when the .fla file got too big, I didn't have enough RAM on my crappy old computer to even work on it! So I bought a brand new computer, but I couldn't work on it on the new computer because it didn't have any of the fonts I used on the old one, and for some reason movie clips weren't publishing! So I had to finish it on my old computer, which took 12 minutes just to Save the damn file!! GAH! I'm getting flash flash backs! Mommy.
Then other reasons yadda yadda yadda you don't care blah blah blah. Enough of my bitching; I'm finally done with it.

And on to more important things:

FLASH DANCER 2 (Working title)

If it's not out by December 16th, then I failed my final project in my web design class. So there ya go. I ball-parked a release date that will sodomize my brain until I finish it. I'm not willing to hand out details, cause I'm into the whole "surprise" thing. I will say this though: It is WAAAAAY more complicated than Flash Dancer 1. The simplicity of the first one is still there, don't get me wrong. The sequel is just a lot bigger and sexier. I leave you all brimming with wonder and suspense, as I'm sure you're all doing right now.

Ehem... uhgoodbye.

and no one cares :-C

.. but for the few of you that do care... here's how I'm staying busy

I. Flash Dancer 2 (working title)
It keeps getting longer. (That's what she said, anyway).
Originally, I had it planned to be about 2 min 50 seconds, but recently I extended it to 3 min 20 seconds.
So the good news is that it's gonna be even better and more entertaining... but the bad news is that its going to take that much longer to come out :-/
I cannot possibly estimate a release date. I'm very inconsistent in terms of how often I work on it, and I've got a few other things I'm working on at the same time, such as...

II. Halloween Flash
I wanted to submit a madness day flash, because I have a really good idea for one.
But it's less than a month away, so I would never have enough time to get it done.
So, I decided I'd set my Bazooka sites on the next contest. Halloween! :-D
Bou1der said he wants a scary one... so I'm striving for scary.
I pretty much never watch horror movies, so this should be all original stuff...
and it probably won't be scary at all... can't blame a guy for trying though, right?
Scary is WAY harder to achieve than funny. People don't scare easy... I mean, I do, but I'm a pussy

III. The Long Go
Now this is something you definitely don't care about. It's the sequel to the live-action movie I made last year.
Last year's project was called The Maimage, and can be found on YouTube.
My friends talked me into making a sequel, and it should be another time-consuming pain in the dickhole.

Other than that... I've got just the other stuff keeping me busy... 2 jobs... college... girlfriend... hating people...

When people see my flashes and say, "You've got too much free time on you hands."
I say, "Suck my balls."

Fuck, I WISH I had free time >:C

P.S. Here's a picture of Flash Dancer 2...